Coming Fall 2018

I'm Back!

I have been gone for awhile and dealing with some heavy things on my heart. As you know life happens. And I have been blessed beyond words. Since the last time I wrote, I have been accepted into Wells Fargo as a permanent employee..my year is coming up in Feb 2014. I have lost some friends, just due to a difference in our lives and agenda. Yet I have not understood if it was me or them. I just know that I had to let go. Yet I have found myself thinking of other things along the way this year. Relationships, kids (the idea of them),peoples hidden agenda's and career goals. I have yet to finish my 3rd book and apart of me doesn't know if I really should. Well I take that back, I know that I should, but do I want too. Is it something my fans are going to want to read it? Will it be just something to do? I have also been working on getting to know more about my inner self and why my writing has come to a halt. Is it that I only did it because someone told me I couldn't and now that I have, I have made my point? I love writing and keeping my characters alive, but at the same time, are people loving them, needing them, missing them in there lives? Or is that just me? Are my books my own release from my reality? All the while, sometimes I fear that what I write will some how give life to certain situations (no pun intended) in my own life. My future writings that is. I have also decided to write my memoirs...and I already know that if and when it gets published, heads will turn, eyes will roll and more questions will come about. But it is the only way to put certain things to rest that still travel within my mind and spirit. Will it be all worth it? I hope so. I know that I am not everyone's cup of tea. But I have also learn within this past year, that not everyone will like me, care for me and understand me. And I have also learn that what other DO think about me is not really my business. And I hope that I keep that going. In this world that is now ran by social media, I have to figure out what is the best course of action that I will use in marketing this final book and also in hopes to maybe get some movies in order for them. Or plays...I do think that if produced the right way, both books can be turned into a sitcom or movie. I know that is my dream, but let's see how well it will do. Needless to say with all my rambling, I'M BACK! LET'S GET IT!

Where Does the time go?

It has been a while since my last post and so much has happened in the world. We have the same President, which is awesome! Another storm named Sandy hit the East Coast like no body's business and lastly Elmo from Sesame Street will no longer have a voice anymore due to the person that was his voice had personal life issue that conflicted with his job. I liked Elmo, and now I am sad for my nephew and all the other little kids that like or liked Elmo growing up as they watched Sesame Street. I swear things have changed so much from when I was younger. Things will never be like they used to be as far as my childhood memories versus those of the kids today. And now it is two days away from Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Which now from what I hear have retailers opening on Thanksgiving day! What kind of madness is that? I mean really?? They can't wait until the regular 12am-5am opening time on the day after thanksgiving? I know one thing, you will not see me out shopping. I am going to be with my family and then I will be at work the next day. If it is not a need, I am not going to go and get it. It can wait. Oh, and the finale chapter of the Twilight Saga came out and was the great! I tried to wait to see it, but I just couldn't. I went and saw it at 12:04am and it was so good. I do however wish it was longer, yet I was a great ending to the Saga. Well, as I stated before, where does the time go? What are you thankful for as we close out this year? Are you ready for 2013? I know I am. Happy Thanksgiving all!

I needed this today, so I had share..

“Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise...” (Micah 7:8, NIV) Anytime you set out to do something great in life, there will be critics. If you’re going to be a great businessperson, coach, student, leader or employee, there will be opposition. The more success you have, the more opportunities there will be for distractions. The higher you go, the more haters will come out. When you start stretching to a new level and pursuing what God has placed in your heart, the jealous people, the critical people, and the small-minded people come out of the woodwork and start making negative comments, but you don’t have to let that distract you. If you are under pressure today, if the critical voices are coming against you, know that it’s because you are making a difference. Don’t let them throw you off course. Instead, dig your heels in, set your face like a flint, and say, “I will not get distracted. I will not get drawn into battles that don’t matter. It doesn’t matter what others think; it matters what God thinks!” Today, look beyond the critics. Stand strong in adversity. Press forward to what lies ahead and win the prize of life that He has prepared for you!

Understanding Who you really are

In these 34 years of being here..I have learned some very hard lessons that sometimes have taken me to another place in my mind. Realizing that you may not be as important as you once were made to feel. Or all of your efforts to change one's view of you falls on deaf ears and blind eyes. You will still have those that will say anything and everything to taint the views of you, but never say it to your face. Now I will admit, I have done this in my younger years, not knowing what I was really doing. Mind you if you don't have the right people around you to tell you what is right and what is wrong, you will say and do anything. So as I reflect on those years, I realize that I have done things I am not proud of. But I will not take it back. Because it had to be done in order to bring me to this place of understanding me where I am right now. We live in a world of forever change. Yet most people live in a bubble that they can't see a need for change. When you see true change in people, accept it. When you want people to treat you a certain way, teach them! I know I have been told that I don't love people like I love myself. And this is true. Because if I loved you the way I love myself, that means you have never hurt me, you have never judged me to the point of no return and you have had my back when it comes to my struggles. I have stopped loving people the way I love myself because they are not worthy. Worthy of understanding the True Love that I am and can give. There is always some type of excuse as to why it can't be done for me, but concern when I stop giving to them. This is not only to the men I have cared for in my life. This is for friends as well. Really think about it, does anyone really deserve the love you give them? Most of the people I have come across have not. Yet I still try to see the good in people and defend people even if they can't find the courage to do the same for me. In 34 years, as of today, I understand who I really am. I am not selfish as most have said, I am not desperate as hating women and anal men have viewed me to be. I am not phony nor egotistical. I don't have a hidden agenda when making friends or associates. I am just me. Do you understand who you are?

Please Don't

Please don't take this the wrong way when I say I don't need you. What you have I already have had or a taste of. So what do you think you really have to offer me out side of what I already know? You have to come better than that please. Please don't think we are cool, just because you are my friend on a social media site. I know it is not the case with me, so why should you think it be anything else? I am a promoter of my products and myself. So if I add you it is because you are a fan. A real friend calls me, prays for me and with me. And also will support my success. Please don't mistake my friendliness for being needy or trying to fit in to anything. I read people and see certain lights about a person’s soul. If you are so blind that this can really happen, then please remove yourself from my presence. You are not about my life. I am God's child and I am supposed to find the good in people. But if you think you are that special to me that I want more than that, then you are sadly mistaken. Please don't test me. It is not wise. I know more than you think I do. Ask me and I will tell you. I have nothing to hide. But testing me to see what will come out of my slick mouth will only hurt your feelings, not mine. Please don't act like I am a non-factor to you because it is YOU that keeps my name in your mouth, on your mind and in your heart. Get yo life. Please don't take this the wrong way, but a friend of mine made me realize today that people really don't care to know me for me, they like to go by hearsay and speculate the real me. It is wise to come to me and ask me before you judge me. Because I am already told by my Lord I have no right to judge you, so tell me again what is your name? Please don't take any of this the wrong way. I just needed to get this off my chest. Have a great day.

Love Letter to my Ex's

I know that I am something like a beast. Yet every time I think of my ex’s that never really rang true. You see the ones that I left was because they weren’t enough for me. I cut them down at times or we just didn’t mesh. Yet the ones that left me, I felt we were the best. But apparently we weren’t if they are my ex. I can name three or five that really broke my heart. Yet I have to thank them all for what they did because they made me stronger in knowing that I can do better than them with how they treated me. Because you see, I would put me aside to make them feel like they were the Kings in my life. Yet they really truly never made me feel like a Queen that I regin to be. As most know I act as if I didn’t need someone; I needed them…at the time they were with me. Looking at it now, I tolerated more than I would from the ones that I had left. Just to hold on to what I thought could be. One had me to the point of a nervous breakdown. One did make me break down. One just broke my heart and for years I was bitter. And this last one lied, cheated, just plain ole disregarded me and threatened me. Hmm, so why am I thanking them? Because they are making way for the King that God is sending to me. Yes I understand that everything happens for a reason, season and lifetime. I can’t be mad if I missed a sign here and there because I had faith in something that I thought would be. Yet knowing that I can let God lead the way now, I feel at ease. I am worth so much more than to be hidden from sight, not being showcased or talked about in the best way. If I make you someone special in my life, I am worth the appreciation and excitement that comes with it. I have heard there are plenty that would love to have the attention that I gave those ex’s…and for that I understand.

I am just worth so much more. Thank you guys for trying to shut me down and belittle what we had. In the end, you are the ones that are going to be mad. Mad that you let your ego make a bad choice to end this so bad. I am something like a beast. In a way that I know what I want, love long and love hard. Protective and proud to announce to the world when I have found the diamond in the rough. Being associated with me is not such a bad thing… ask my first love, ex-husband and best male friend. See I left those guys, yet they were never that bad, well maybe my ex-husband…yeah, he was bad. But they will still sing my praises til this day. After one apology, things became ok. Yes, I have to say thank you to those ex’s of mine. Thank you for leaving me, even though you know I am a dime. More woman than you could handle, something I will not deny. I may have let you hurt me some, but not enough to make me stop looking for the right one. Thank you.