Understanding Who you really are

In these 34 years of being here..I have learned some very hard lessons that sometimes have taken me to another place in my mind. Realizing that you may not be as important as you once were made to feel. Or all of your efforts to change one's view of you falls on deaf ears and blind eyes. You will still have those that will say anything and everything to taint the views of you, but never say it to your face. Now I will admit, I have done this in my younger years, not knowing what I was really doing. Mind you if you don't have the right people around you to tell you what is right and what is wrong, you will say and do anything. So as I reflect on those years, I realize that I have done things I am not proud of. But I will not take it back. Because it had to be done in order to bring me to this place of understanding me where I am right now. We live in a world of forever change. Yet most people live in a bubble that they can't see a need for change. When you see true change in people, accept it. When you want people to treat you a certain way, teach them! I know I have been told that I don't love people like I love myself. And this is true. Because if I loved you the way I love myself, that means you have never hurt me, you have never judged me to the point of no return and you have had my back when it comes to my struggles. I have stopped loving people the way I love myself because they are not worthy. Worthy of understanding the True Love that I am and can give. There is always some type of excuse as to why it can't be done for me, but concern when I stop giving to them. This is not only to the men I have cared for in my life. This is for friends as well. Really think about it, does anyone really deserve the love you give them? Most of the people I have come across have not. Yet I still try to see the good in people and defend people even if they can't find the courage to do the same for me. In 34 years, as of today, I understand who I really am. I am not selfish as most have said, I am not desperate as hating women and anal men have viewed me to be. I am not phony nor egotistical. I don't have a hidden agenda when making friends or associates. I am just me. Do you understand who you are?